Monday, June 6, 2011

I have a Dilemma

Well I see blogger is doing maintenance. So I can't show you my flowers I made today.
I even did a photo tutorial :(

I just got off the phone with my younger brother.
He is getting married (his second) and asked my daughters to do the photography for his wedding.
Of course my daughters were excited to do this for their uncle.
They made these arrangements in January. This was before he had set a date.

Well we planned our trip to Montanna to spread my dad's remains. We are going in August. Hubby has planned his holiday's with his brother's. (This will be our 1st Summer Vacation). Ashley has taken time off work for this date.
Well I am sure you can predict what I am about to say.
My brother phoned me tonight to tell me the date he is getting married is when we are away.
I am torn. Of course I want to be at my brother's wedding, but this is our 1st  and probably last family vacation. The girls are all coming because of the reason we are going.
My dad (step) told me he wanted all of us to go and make it a vacation.

So I will sleep on it tonight and see if there is anything else we can do to work it out.

Hope you were creative today....I was...sort of.



  1. (((HUGS)))) Gosh, I would be torn, too. But, since this is your brother's second marriage and this will be the time to spread your dad's ashes according to his wishes, I would say that I would probably go to Montana. On the other hand, I certainly would not want to downplay the fact that your brother is getting married, because it is such a joyous time. Oy! I don't know what to say. I'll be thinking about you. (((HUGS))) again.

  2. Oh doubly sorry. One that blogger is having issues, and two about your dilemma. I hate things like that. Hope you can reach a decision you feel good about.

  3. Oh yeah, that is a dilemma. Let your heart tell you what to do :0) Whatever choice you make will be the right one for you! Hugs!!!!

  4. You'll find the answer....we somehow always do. What a dilemma, though. Hugs.

  5. It will be a hard decision either way but I'm sure you will make the best one for you and your family.

  6. That is a hard thought, it is his second marriage and why so long to set a date? Still does not make it an easy decision...positive thoughts on your decision....what do your girls and hubby think?

  7. O have been thrown th his kind of thing my way. Plans were made. Last wishes. You need to honor those gone as much as the living.
    I know you will find a way to be okay with the choice. Big hugs my friend.

  8. this is just what i would do--i would go on my vacation--if this is what was planned first than i would go on vacation-my hubby only gets 2 weeks a year and if he were taking off to go on a vacation there would be no way that we were going to cancel. my family is close but they also know that everyone has their own families etc and that sometimes you have to do what is right for you.

  9. Tracy,
    Many hugs to ya sweetie, this is a hard decision. But like another blogger said, this is your brother's second wedding and he really only told you the date today/yestereday so he should understand if you cannot make it.
    Hope you figure everything out

  10. On the plus side for the wedding (or to make it harder) AND I know I'm biased because I'm remarried, but I don't think it should really matter whether it's your brother's first or second or third marriage. The number of marriages won't matter in ten or twenty years if this turns out to be the right person for him. And if you come to love your new sister in law, it would be nice for your memories about her to be about HER and not about whether or not your brother was married to someone else first, not about her as number two or whatever. In other words, I would think only about how much it matters that you and your family are there. If you decide that it means a great deal to you, why not talk to your brother? It seems like they just made the date, and maybe it's not too late for them to rethink it if he knows you really want to be there.

    And how does he feel about the ashes spreading? Maybe there's some way to combine trips or something or that one or the other could be changed. Things might be set in stone already and they might not be, but it doesn't hurt to at least talk to him since he is your brother.

    Incidentally, when my brother got married the first time, he told me they were "eloping" (as in they did tell me, but only a week ahead of time and he lived 2000 miles away) but I always wished I had figured out a way to go anyway. He said it was fine for me not to be there and it WAS fine. For him. But for ME, I found that I wished I had been there. But I made his second it seems it all came out okay in the end. :-)

  11. Oh man, stuff like this always stinks, doesn't it? I'm sure I would go on the vacation with my girls and hubby. My sister would understand. I know you guys will make the right decision!

    Dumb blogger and their maintenance! Took FOREVER last night! :)

  12. What a tough decision! Hope everything works out.

  13. Well, I hope you are able to post your photos soon so we can see how creative you were! So sorry you have to make a tough decision. You will do the right thing!

  14. Tough decision, but it his second wedding. What you are doing for your dad is quite important and I would certainly hope your brother would understand.

    About 12 years ago, my brother-in-law remarried in San Francisco. This was not an inexpensive trip for us to take from Boston to SF. The wedding was lovely, but we found out they had gotten married months before and this was merely a reenactment! We were not pleased and that marriage is already kaput!

    Do what is best for you and your family!

  15. Oooh, tough one there! Just discuss it with your brother & maybe a compromise can be made. Second marriage or not, it would be disheartening for the girls to miss a photographing opportunity. Keep us posted on the progress of this situation.

  16. Oh, Tracy,
    That is one big dilemma. I know it will be a hard decision to make.
    Why do things have to come at the same time and when there is a whole year for these events. Frustrating isn't it????
    Good luck with the decision you make.

  17. oh how frustrating. I bet you just wanted to scream. I hope it all works out for yall.


  18. What a tough decision. I'm sure it will all work out in the end.

  19. Oh Tracy,
    What a hard decision you have to make, i'm sure you'll make the right one that suits you and your family.
    Take care hun
    Happy crafting
    Tracy x

  20. Oh Tracy! Bummer! Do what feels right, but I would keep the family plans to Montana. You had the dates first (andyou probably mentioned this to him). Besides, you were probably at the first wedding. Besides it is not just for fun, it is for your dad too. Good luck with the tough decision!


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